Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
