Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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