the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
