Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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