And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
