So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
