sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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