remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize