No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.