the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
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I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
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WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?