somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.