I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.