his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
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how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.