I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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