I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
