Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
