The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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