dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
