Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
