So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
