We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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