Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
