i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
