in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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