yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
