p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize