We're like a lot better than the average bears
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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