you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
