I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
