How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
