Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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