I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
