Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Randomize
