i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize
