thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
