yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
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Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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