You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
