I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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