like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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