That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
