The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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