i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
