what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
