It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
