Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
