So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my vagina is haunted
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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