This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize