obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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