I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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