i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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