It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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