im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
