Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
