Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
