She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
