I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
