all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
