Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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