doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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