so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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