I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
