How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
