im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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