EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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