oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
