next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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