your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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